ONE HOT MAMA

Monday, January 23, 2006

Not sure if I wanna cry or run away.

Ok I will preface this with I am going thru a bout of PMS and that may have made my feelings worse but they are still valid.

This weekend has not been the best. Matt needs to get his self in check. He has been very hateful with his tone and words to me and I HATE that. I am at a loss as to how do I let that stuff roll off my back and NOT play into it. I know he does it to get a reaction out of me. He wants to get me pissed off. It WORKS! So the marriage is still on the rocks. Nothing is going better. I REFUSE to give up! But again this is gonna take TWO and lots of hard work. I totally get that it's not gonna be easy and that it will not happen over night. I mean it took us 6 years to get to this point. But the kids are worth making it better. Heck I AM worth making it better. *drama coming* All that said I am feeling very hurt, broken and sad today. I want to feel loved cherished and like I am gold. He used to be so sweet and good to me. But like most things that wore off and life took over. Now he treats me worse than strangers and co- workers. Why is it that we treat perfect strangers better than the ones we are supposed to love and adore? Anyway I am kinda down in the dumps today and feeling a bit overwhelmed. *end drama*

Posted by ONE HOT MAMA :: 12:22 PM :: 16 Comments: